A few years ago I decided to embrace new things. I noticed that I had a self-concept of the kinds of things that I do and don’t do…So I decided to climb out of my own box and try new things. Consciously. I wanted to know how to let new experiences open me up, without getting overwhelmed by fear.
Tantra sees the world in terms of energy. We seek things out for the energy that they could bring us. We are attracted to lovers with a certain energy that awakens some part of us. We go to places, eat foods and try experiences that bring us new energy.
But an interesting phenomenon is that the strongest energy usually stirs fear in us before we do it. Think of the fear before getting on a stage or taking a trip to some new place or going on a first date. If we allow the fear to rule us, we would hold back or avoid these things. We stay in our “comfort zone”, but we miss out on the potential energy activation. If we consistently do this, we may start to feel that our life becomes stuck and stagnant.
However, if we jump into new things with a lot of energy and cannot integrate that energy is can feel overwhelming, or even traumatising. So we need to know how to activate and integrate, so that we can expand in life, try new things and awaken new energy!
For example, I grew up with a mother who was afraid of heights. So though as a young child I loved scrambling up rocks, I soon learned it was unsafe and I developed a fear of heights too. As an adult, I began to notice this was limiting me. I would avoid certain hikes, or freeze up and get stuck if a path became too high. The thing is, if I tried to force myself it didn’t work…my legs would become so shaky and make it even more dangerous. So I looked at Tantra to see how to overcome this limitation and expand my boundaries. Here are some of the principles I used:
- Receive a transmission: in Tantra there is an understanding that someone who already has an energy activated can help you to activate yours. What does this mean? Basically if someone else is comfortable with a situation and an energy, then they can hold space for you as it awakens in you. It’s like they lend you their confidence until you build your own. So when it comes to heights, I had a rock-climbing lover who would hold me round the waist from behind as we walked along a narrow high path. He was like my safety belt! Afterwards I had such a rush of energy and joy! Later on I went up in the air in a microlight plane with a man who had been flying for 20 years, who agreed to carry me through my fears. It’s important that the holder knows you are exploring your edge and is sensitive enough to support you.
- Breathe through the experience: This is the key. Often when we feel fear we hold our breath to block the feeling. But Tantra teaches us to breathe even more deeply than ever…and a miracle happens. What was once fear becomes pure life- force energy, sometimes even orgasmic! I went to a theme park with my lover a few years ago, and we decided to do tantric breathing on every ride. With each sheer drop and fast spin, we breathed deeply and exhaled with sound, consciously avoiding contracting our bodies. Wow…so much energy was activated! It gave a whole new experience of theme parks!!!
- Integrate with meditation: often we focus upon the experience itself and we miss out on the moment that follows it. But this is actually a very important moment. What really helps us to transform on a long-term basis is integration…assimilating the new energy into our system. The best way to do this is meditation: close your eyes and go within. Notice the energy inside of your body after an event and take the time to let it settle. I always remember a time when our whole film crew (from the movie Sex to Spirit) climbed up to a viewpoint for sunrise. So it was a challenging climb in the dark! One of the dancers was very confident and he let me put my feet on top of his as we climbed the rocks. At the top I was so excited to be up there, and he reminded me to stop and breathe and take in the fact that I had done it. It was a great reminder. I sat down and closed my eyes…I was SO alive inside! I watched the energy and let it find its place within me.
With these principles, you can embrace the new in your life, and receive the full awakening from each experience.
I have talked about over coming a fear of heights, but this can be applied to any area of life. Of course in Tantra there is a lot of exploring our fears and limitations around intimacy: especially sexual fears and fears of opening the heart. These can be embraced with the same principles, after all you are bound to be attracted to people or experiences that would expand your boundaries. This is how attraction works!
So take a deep breath, and let life open you up!
Shashi Solluna is a passionate Tantrika, known for her fiery energy and ability to make things happen! She specialises in the aspect of energy in Tantra…cultivating sexual energy and raising it through the body, as well as sharing that energy with your beloved. She applies ancient tantric principles to modern life and relationships, teaching Tantra as a life path as well as a spiritual path.