Mention the word “tantra”, and the first associations are usually about love-making that lasts for hours and men who don’t ejaculate. I am so often asked “is it true that tantric men never ejaculate?”. There is a huge fascination around this topic, and also some misunderstandings. So just what is it all about?
Indeed, it is true. In classical Tantra and also Taoist Tantra, there are plenty of teachings about no longer ejaculating. This often seems like a horror to men who enjoy regular release of their seed. But what is often not mentioned is that tantric semen retention (“Brahmachariya”) is not just abut withholding the sexual energy, but learning to guide it into a full body orgasm instead of a quick release.
What is happening in regular ejaculation? The sexual energy is built up on arousal, but it is built up within a lot of muscular contraction. It is almost as if we are resisting the sexual energy…as it builds we squeeze hard against it! Eventually our body cannot contain the pressure anymore and it is released in a whoosh of letting go…often leaving us tired and ready for sleep!
If this is all you know in sexuality, then this can become easily addictive. We get addicted to the tension-release. But over time such an action depletes the body of energy as well as nutrients, and it takes more effort to get turned on. Hence the escalating market of porn, and other “turn ons”.
In Tantra, the sexual energy is seen as a precious treasure! It is the energy of life, of creation. When taken into the body instead of released, our levels of vitality build up. As the energy builds up we can also raise our levels of consciousness. This sexual energy is the seed of higher levels of consciousness! Who doesn’t want more vitality and heightened awareness?
Not only can we raise consciousness, but the sexual energy is seen to have a very special quality to it. And that is its capacity to overcome karma. Karma means the patterns that hold us back…the patterns that cause us suffering and block us from living our full potential. Karma is like the chains that bind the soul…keeping us smaller than our highest potential.
It s very hard to shift karma…it is “sticky”! Have you ever noticed how certain patterns reoccur in your life, possibly ones that happened in generations of your family as well? Just wishing them gone is seldom enough. We need energy to break the chains off.
In Tantra is has been discovered that to sublimate (raise up) sexual energy can have the power to break away old karmic bonds. It is a bit like heating up a saucepan and melting down a bar of chocolate…the fire brings the power to break down the rigidity of the form. Sexual energy is the flame that can help us transform.
Thus, Tantric Sexuality is not just about pleasure! That is a side effect! It is about alchemical transformation. Having the power to change our lives for the better. To evolve. To grow. To build energy. To powerfully open our hearts, minds and bodies to a flow of greater love and light.
So if you feel in any way frustrated with any aspect of your life…your job, your creativity, your relationships… consider ejaculation mastery as an option for transformational power! It is not so much about becoming controlling and rigid, but learning to work with subtle energy and breath with your sexual energy. The best way to learn is with a teacher or a well-trained tantric massage therapist, so do some research to find someone you trust.
Enjoy the journey!