63005194a6f7613224da153771fe52e7The gift I would most love to give you, just in time for the holidays, is this little gem. If there is one thing I could share with you about tantric lovemaking it is that giving is only half the equation. Learning how to fully receive is sure to transform your lovemaking from mundane to magical.

Nothing turns me on more than a lover’s openness to the flow of my energy no matter how I express it. This quality in a man calls forth my profound devotion. The most intoxicating elixir I know of is to feel him create space for me to pour my passion into, and to feel myself open to savor every drop of him.

Drinking from that ambrosia is what brings us to elevated states, while still enjoying the innate pleasures of our bodies. This allows for our lovemaking to become a prayer. We bow to the divinity we each embody. And, we receive deeply and with gratitude the blessings we have to bestow upon each other.

Great news for you! Being open to receive love is our natural state of being, and dropping into that space is easier than you may think.

An open mind, heart and body are sexier than any lingerie. The ability to be open and receive is more enticing than any innovative sexual position could ever be. And, consciously cultivating our receptivity when entering into sacred space with your beloved is a pathway to bliss.

Here are three areas for you to tend to on your path to becoming an amazing receiver:

 

1. Open your mind.  

All of us are subject to conventional conditioning that leads us to believe sex should look, feel, even sound a certain way. We’re spoon-fed unrealistic images from glossy Hollywood films and have our expectations distorted by the prevalence of pornography and sexual suppression that exists in our society.

You are expanding your horizons. Consider that lovemaking can actually be quite a different experience than what we’ve seen on the screen. This contemplation that sex can be so much more than what we think is a wonderful place to begin stretching our receiving muscles.7435c7c15b239e9119abd8156ec565b5

First thing to embrace: Sex Is Not A Performance! And tantric lovemaking most certainly is not. It is the coming together of two, (or maybe more!), divine beings who are consciously uniting. They are in union to explore the sensations of their bodies, the power of their breath and the elevated realms of their consciousness through sexual union. It is a path to God/ess.

Cultivate a meditative mindset rather than trying to play a part. Consider that you are worshipping your lover, not simply trying to get him/her off. Relinquish your attachment to a goal-oriented, peak experience where lovemaking ends with a climax. Instead consider that every single breath, gaze and stroke are an opportunity to share in the ecstasy of orgasmic bliss together for hours on end.

2. Open your heart. 

When you meet a lover in sacred space, remember that you are meeting God/ess in the flesh. What a tremendous privilege and honor it is to worship in this way! And what a gift it is that your lover has chosen to give him/herself to you.

Our hearts have a limitless capacity to hold the full spectrum of life in loving embrace! Yet, this is something we must cultivate with care and practice. Embodied beings that we are, we’ve all shut down our hearts at some level or another along the way. Commit to staying open to love, and be aware that love shows up in many forms.

Love yourself and your beloved not just in waves of pleasure, but also in pain. Love not just the blissful smiles, but also the tender tears. Love the pools of deep stillness as much as the waves of ecstasy. Loves very nature is to be receptive. When you recognize yourself as love and come toward every encounter with an open heart, you create a field of permission for the fullness of your lover, and of your own sweet self, to be received.

3. Open your body. 7b2126580c3c7500777e52cc30a77cdd

Creating the deepest relaxation in your body possible is an essential element to receiving the gifts of lovemaking. The stress of daily life: the accumulation of pain, shame and fear, the judgments we hold against our own physical forms, all of these arise as tension in our bodies and block the flow of energy from moving as it is made to. Give yourself the gift of true relaxation so you may then be an open, receptive vessel for the love you and your partner are cultivating.

Simplest way to start is to breathe!

Slow, deep inhales and long, sighing exhales through the mouth begin to signal to our parasympathetic nervous system that it’s safe to relax. Take some time to breathe like this on your own before meeting your beloved and then share this practice together when you first connect, perhaps gazing into each other’s eyes and holding hands or lying face to face. Doing a body scan to identify pockets of tension and consciously breathe into them is another easy and effective tool. Move from your crown down to your feet, stopping along the way at the different areas of your body and focus your awareness on opening relaxed space into any tightness.

The softer and more spacious you allow your physical form to become, the more love you will open to receive. And once that space is open, the points of contact between your bodies in lovemaking become bottomless oceans of sensation where you can feel the singularly delicious delight of being both deeply receptive and deeply received.

So as the season of giving descends fully upon us, remember it is truly our ability to receive that makes for the sweetest gift. Treat your beloved to this tantric way of connecting, and I assure you, your lovemaking will never be the same!

Does this resonate with you?

Do you have any other tips for deeper lovemaking to share?

Leave a comment below…


 

 About Darshana Avila

 

10003949_10206286555265152_7552955712484523959_nDarshana delights in bringing a strong embodiment of devotional spirit to her every offering. Whether that’s sharing the gifts of tantric touch and presence with clients, coaching seekers along their path to living passionate, purposeful lives or holding space for groups as they journey deeper into intimacy, at the heart of it all is a deep reverence for the Divine Mother, Shakti Devi herself.

Connect with Darshana at www.enlightenedfocus.com.