A woman needs at least 30 – 40 minutes of lovemaking to come close to those really deep, vaginal and full body orgasms. Yet, statistic says that the length of an average intercourse is 9,5 minutes. Oops!

Lovemaking for the majority of couples in this world ends with a man’s ejaculation. In tantra men are advised not to ejaculate at all, and learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Even if your man chooses to ejaculate 9.5 minutes is definitely way too short for a woman to be able to have an orgasm.

Now let’s see if there is anything we can do about it.

Have you ever felt into the might of the ocean?

Or the power of a thunderstorm?

Can you imagine how much intensity there is when a volcano is erupting?

It’s magnificent.

This force is incredibly intense. And, actually you don’t need to go on an expedition to witness it. That same force resides right there in your pussy.

Another name for this force is shakti.  Shakti is the sanskrit name for energy, power and the entire manifested world. It is the counterpart to Shiva: the unborn awareness. Some aspects of our life are charged with a particularly strong shakti.

Sexuality is a very strong shakti.

When the shakti is that strong it’s really hard to control it. Imagine trying to control the ocean. It’s from the realms of superpowers… and yet tantra proves that it is possible to control our sexual energy.

What makes a man ejaculate is the pull of shakti. And this pull is coming from nature herself: from the never ending desire of life-for-life.  

Life needs to go on, and for that we need to procreate. It’s completely natural to desire to conceive a baby. For that nature has given us intercourse.  

However, sex doesn’t always have to lead to conception. It can just be a very pleasant, and life enriching, expression of love. It can help us feel very intimate with our loved one. Some even approach lovemaking as a spiritual practice.


The power of a volcano.

Even if we have consciously decided that we are not using sex to make babies, the shakti, or nature, is not going anywhere. Nature has her own agenda. It wants you to procreate.

Shakti is tricky.

This pull of nature is especially strong when we are making love of course. This pull is exactly what makes a man ejaculate. This pull is exactly what makes a woman want to be filled with her lover’s cum.

Very often this truth is left completely unconscious.

At a certain point when pleasure is intense you just want to drink him, suck him in and feel all of him inside you. This moment is very, very crucial.

How can you help your man last longer in bed?

Become a master of your own sexual energy. You must first become aware of this instinct. How does it manifest at the level of your energetic and emotional bodies?

Your pull, your shakti, is a major component to his ejaculation. If you want your man to last longer in bed then you need to realise that you are the main factor.

The moment when you want to suck him in so much, and your desire is so intense, is exactly the moment when you are pulling his energy inside of you. That’s when he is very likely to ejaculate.

If in this moment you stop the pull and relax the energetic grip then you help him tremendously to prolong the intercourse.

It may sound very complicated. It is a subtle art that you create with your energy. Once you get a hold of it this will become completely natural for you.

Your partner will be able to last longer, and your chance to experience those big orgasms are infinitely higher.

This kind of subtle training is part of the curriculum that Mystical Femininity initiates go through. You will learn: to master your sexual energy, develop expansive states of consciousness and learn how to make your shakti flow. You can become a Mystical Femininity initiate this November. I am offering a 2 week intensive course called the Sacred Feminine Immersion in Bali. Join us! Check out details here 


bioSofia Sundari is the creatrix of Mystical Femininity. She writes, facilitates retreats and workshops. She helps women unleash their deep, feminine power through coaching and energetic practice. Sofia empowers women to question the status quo, align with their powerful feminine nature and realise their highest potential. Check out her website  and Facebook group.

Sofia’s  is living her life in deep connection and service to the Goddess. Mystical Femininity work has transformed her life and that’s why she wants to make these teachings available for all women in the world. Check out the upcoming event: Sacred Feminine Immersion.