We all long for intimacy and connection, but hours spent on the computer and working all week long can be a real connection-killer. Once the holidays come along, many people just want to zone out in front of a movie, or perhaps they can’t switch off so they work Facebook as if it’s their full-time job. And before you know it, the holidays have passed and barely a kiss was passed between lovers. Not a very juicy Christmas!
Tantra offers ways to open the senses and thus activate our sensual nature once more. Once activated, sensuality naturally stimulates the energy of connection. Our sensual self reaches out to touch, to hold, to caress another. Sensuality can bring pleasure just as it is, and it can also be used before love-making to bring a deeper more intimate tone to your union.
The Vigyan Bhairav Tantra is an ancient text from India’s tantric tradition that contains 112 meditations that Shiva gave to his lover Shakti. Several of them contain meditations with touch, skin, smell, sound and other senses. Senses are perfect pathways to developing more awareness, because the senses are always happening now in this very moment. They grab our attention and bring it right to the here and now. This is a vital precursor to intimacy as you need to be present within yourself before you can be fully present with another.
One of the sutras can be translated as:
“When eating or drinking become the taste of the food or drink, and be filled.”
This sutra can be practiced by blindfolding your partner and feeding them sumptuous and sexy foods and liquids. This practice is one of the most delicious ways to interact and can totally melt your partner into bliss!
There are a few pointers to do this practice well, and so I will endeavour to share a step-by-step guide to Tantric Tasting. Before you dive into the details, just sit back and take a few minutes to enjoy this sumptuous video showing the ritual. By watching the video you will receive a transmission of how this ritual can be.
Good preparation is essential! You need to have everything there and ready because you don’t want to blindfold your partner and then walk off and leave them whilst you find the things you need! NOTE: it is very vulnerable to be blindfolded, so hold your beloved well and take complete care of them whilst they are surrendered in this way.
- Gather foods that are delicious, sweet and juicy. Do not go for hard, salty or bitter foods! Good choices are: mango slices, seedless grapes, strawberries, bananas, slightly soft chocolate (a little melted around the edges can make for a fun feeding session!) and other sweet and juicy fruits. You don’t need much as this meditation is much slower than eating!
- Cut the foods into bite sized pieces (or finger-shapes. Banana is a good fruit as it can be played with as it is…we leave you to your imagination)
- If you want some liquids, thicker ones can be good such as a fruit smoothie. Coconut water is also great as it tastes so sweet and divine!
- You will need also a blindfold or long fabric to tie over the eyes.
- Create a comfortable sitting place with plenty of cushions. They receiver needs to be sitting up so that they can swallow food without choking!
- Play some soft sensual music in the background. Indian classical music sets the scene nicely. I recommend Hariprasad Chaurasia (indian flute artist) or some rudra vina (a tantric instrument).
Wash your hands first but with a mild soap so that your hands are clean but not overly scented! You will be feeding your beloved with your fingers, so this step is essential! There is nothing more un-sensual than fingers smelling of cigarettes or garlic or of chemical soap!
- Play the music, maybe light a candle and invite your beloved into the space you have created.
- Ask if you may blindfold them and make an invitation “Beloved, I invite you to surrender as I take you on a journey of sensorial bliss”.
- You can read the sutra, whispering it in their ear. You may use the one above “when tasting food…” or we really love the translation by Lorin Roche in the Radiance Sutras. You can watch the accompanying video to hear this incredibly sensual version.
- Take a piece of food that has a strong smell, such as a slice of mango. Bring it to an inch from your beloved’s nose and watch their face as the smell reaches their senses. It is important to wait and watch…let your partner open up in their own time.
- Once they start to smell, often they smile and their lips may part slightly. At this point, trace the moist mango slowly along the lower lip. This should stimulate them to open even more. Watch for sounds of pleasure, little moans and signs they are surrendering open.
- Once their lips art a bit more, use the mango to tease in and out a little, but not yet feeding it all the way in. Let them have the pleasure of tasting, sucking a little, and building desire through light playful teasing. You want to open them up, but not make them feel violated. So don’t take the food away suddenly, but just watch how to open them.
- When the time feels right you will feed the whole piece to them. Give them plenty of time to chew and eat before you feed them anything else. They re in a deep sensorial state, so give them time. Maybe switch to some light caressing of their arms or neck whilst they absorb the last bit of the food (but don’t touch in such a way that you distract them from the taste).
- Make sure they have swallowed it and had some time to enjoy the aftertaste before bringing the next food to their nose.
- Be playful with each feed. As you progress through the practice you may become more and more intimate. Let the opening of your partner guide you. For example, later on your may put a finger in their mouth dipped in melted chocolate. But do this only when you sense your partner is ready (they will look more surrendered, the mouth opens more, they make louder groaning sounds and so on).
- At the end, gently remove the blindfold and take a few minutes to look into their eyes. Really look deep into them and see their opened state that they have entered as a result of your gift.
You will learn a precious lesson from this meditation if you pay attention: that the art of great giving is in listening to the cues coming from the receiver. If a giver has their own agenda and just does what they want moment to moment, the receiver is not always ready and may feel rushed or pushed. If this happens the receiver will unconsciously contract and defend themself, and they cannot really receive at all.
However, if you as the giver watch your beloved carefully, you will be able to watch them melting and opening up. Watch for relaxation in their face and body posture. Watch for when they get turned on and excited. Watch for signs like the mouth opening up. Or even they begin to subtly arch their back. If you let such signs guide your giving, then you will become masterful at the art of giving. It will truly be the best Christmas present they could ever wish for!
Shashi Solluna is a passionate Tantrika, known for her fiery energy and ability to make things happen! She specialises in the aspect of energy in Tantra…cultivating sexual energy and raising it through the body, as well as sharing that energy with a beloved.
She is making a feature-length doc on Tantra called Sex to Spirit, coming out next year.
She leads month-long teacher trainings in Tao Tantric Arts in Asia.
There is a website that shows what she is up to, SollunaTantra.com
And she shares articles on all things Tantra via shashisolluna.com